"Walk With Me, Talk With Me" by Richard Quinonez

by Tamara Mayo
(Victorville, CA USA)

Book Review: Walk With Me, Talk With Me, Richard Quinonez

TITLE: Walk With Me, Talk With Me
AUTHOR: Richard Quinonez
TOPIC: Christian Marriage
COVER: Paperback - 50 pages
THEME: How to build and maintain and healthy Christian marriage.
THESIS: Balancing communication and understanding in a marriage with God as the center focus.
ISBN: None

"Walk With Me, Talk With Me" is the culmination of all the work the author has put into preserving the vows he and his wife took over 26 years ago. He and his wife now perform public speaking, lead meetings, and guide other groups.
In the prologue he speaks of how, as a husband in a Christian marriage, he and his wife have attended numerous counseling sessions, seminars, workshops, and couples studies through their church. Each event presented the author with another stone to build his marriage with, and he talks of how life can often get in the way of a strong marriage. However, he sets the stage for the areas of a marriage that both spouses must focus on in order to prevent growing apart.
As this book is more of a guide than a biography, the author effectively prepares the reader for what material lies ahead with the introductory chapter. There, he details what areas of marriage he will speak of for both men and women, along with what goal each should take away, evidenced with these two excerpts:
"Husbands: Learn what it means to live with and to honor your wife. Your marriage should have a strength and beauty that signifies that your relationship is growing and being built upon a foundation of solid biblical principles.
"Wives: Understand that placing your husbands in a position that encourages him to lead and make decisions in life and marriage helps him to become a better husband, father, and leader."
His writing style also exhibits his theme of incorporating Bible verses into each lesson or chapter to further reinforce his points. Each chapter title doubles as one of the five foci for men and women. Chapters one through five focus on the husbands, while chapters six through ten are dedicated to the wives. He also leads every chapter by posing a question to the spouses, prompting them to think deeper as they read.
In chapter one, "Fondness", Quinonez encourages husbands to show their wives that they are cherished through their actions and words. He also touches on rekindling a marriage that could potentially become stagnant in a sub-section called "Renewed Appreciation".
Chapter two, "Access", focuses on husbands making sure their wife has access to his heart, and that he remains emotionally accessible. The author addresses that a man who "has a strong walk with the Lord is a man who can better give his heart to his wife." He goes on to speak about examples to follow and examples to avoid in order to preserve love and peace in the union.
"Comprehension" is the title for chapter three, and challenges husbands to ask themselves if they are cognizant to the needs of their wives, including understanding her desires. He shares a wonderful story of growing up with a father who was an upholsterer, then uses the idea of tapestry as a metaphor for a husband to understand his wife's personality, incorporating upholstery techniques along the way.
Chapter four, "Tenacity", the author talks of the importance of being a confident leader, thus gaining confidence from the family. He implores husbands to utilize their strengths while "sharpening {their} weaknesses to guide". (21)
In chapter five, "Support", Quinonez details the importance of a husband "serving and supporting" his wife, and how spiritual leadership provides a deeper sense of security in a Christian marriage. The sub-topics "Lift Up Your Marriage" and "The Perfect Blend" open up the perfect dialogue for a husband and wife to address their individual marital roles, as well as what each needs to bring to the relationship.
Chapter six, "Appreciate", shifts to the wife and her role in the marriage. In this chapter the author talks about the benefits of a wife making sure her husband knows he is appreciated. This includes understanding who her husband is as a person and continuing to offer unconditional appreciation, even through the hard times. He maintains that strong faith in God is what will allow her wife to ultimately have faith in her husband as a leader.
"Companion", chapter seven, leads with the question: "Does your husband see you as a companion and partner in the home?" The author effectively talks about spousal roles in the home, making sure to avoid gender stereotypes. He addresses the fact that not all couples are the same and the key once again is to understand the person your partner is, what one needs to bring to the relationship, and how to adapt accordingly in order to utilize each others strengths.
Chapter eight addresses how to be a teammate in the marriage, as the title reflects. Quinonez explains how being a teammate is not just about working together – it also includes showing husbands that they are liked by wives who want to spend time with them. He talks about engaging in projects together, or merely showing interest by asking questions about it.
In Chapter nine, "Service", the author speaks of how a wife can serve her husband as the leader of the family. He explains that it involves supporting the husband in his decisions, but he does not encourage the wife to be a docile. Instead, he offers the wisdom of not disagreeing with one's husband in front of children of family members and preserving those debates for private times. He patiently addresses the possible fears women may have surrendering authority in the home, and advises how it can benefit in the husband growing stronger in God.
Chapter ten, "Intimacy", concentrates on the importance of sexual intimacy in the marriage. While maintaining a high level of class and modesty, Quinonez talks (sometimes humorously) about how spouses should come to know each other on an intimate level, with wives conducting a "study of your husband's passions and pleasures". He also speaks on the significance of open communication involving intimacy.
Overall, this book is a great read for Christian and non-Christians. Spouses should definitely read this together, as Richard Quinonez has successfully touched on the vital portions of marriage, while ministering honestly from the heart. He preaches what he believes without any dogma, and his tone remains sincere. The reader will take many jewels from his work.

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